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Friday, February 14, 2014

Top 5 Ways to Convert a Non Prepper Spouse - Happy Valentines Day!

So you've found yourself in a tense scenario - your spouse is not interested in preparedness. Or worse, completely against it and you having anything to do with it. I see this often and it's really hard, you believe you are doing whats right, storing away some food and gear for whatever may come, and your spouse feels like you are wasting time and money.

This is a situation that shouldn't be ignored. You shouldn't have to hide your good intentions, nor should it be a cause of stress in your relationship. And it doesn't have to be a spouse, this can apply to any relationship, it could be a parent, friend, co-worker, or other relative. Lets try to fix this situation of yours up, so you can prepare with pride.

1) Communicate 
Most importantly, talk about it. You don't need to bring your gun collection out on the first date, but you shouldn't hide your preparedness goals from someone who you trust. Talk about what you are trying to accomplish. Even if your long term goal is a 5 year food supply for the whole town, thats fine, just break it down with your spouse and make it real. Month one we are going to buy two bags of wheat, month two a few more, etc. If your deeper into the relationship and communicating about prepping is already a tough sell, proceed to steps two and three.

2) Ease them in 
Once again, I wouldn't recommend starting out by showing them your 100 strong gun collection, or by walking them down into the bunker. Start as simple as you need to. How about a first aid kit in the house and car? How about some flashlights and lightsticks spread around the house, just in case the power goes out? If your an outdoorsy couple, plan to take your spouse camping or hiking, and stop by the local prep shop together to pick up some stuff for your trip. Then when your out in the bush, pull out your 864 function multi tool and do something useful - make some tinder for the fire. Cut some rope to proper lengths for setting up your rain shelter. Show your spouse the simplest real life ways that "prepper" gear and food can be used for good. Note: DO NOT use that 864 function multi tool to bait, catch, skin and cook supper...however awesome that may seem. That can come later.

3) Show them how practical preparedness can be 
Bring up a story or two from mainstream news (underline the mainstream!) about ice storms, massive blizzards or anything else that shut down normal society for a few days. Read those stories together and talk about how you'd like to have a few extra supplies on hand for peace of mind. Explain that preparedness is about "normal" issues like being stuck in your home during an ice storm, and isn't just about conspiracy scenarios. Bonus points here if you know anyone who has actually lived through something like this. Invite them over for supper and help the topic naturally come out. Real life survivor stories are powerful.

4) Take the financial stress away 
Prepping can be quite the financial rabbit hole. There is always some new gadget out there that will make your personal survival man stats go up by x %. This can wreck havoc on any relationship when one of the partners is constantly racking up the Visa bill. Try to take away the financial stress by working together to set up a budget. Maybe its $200 per month, maybe more, maybe less. Then stick to the budget, or at least communicate if one month your going to save your budget and do a larger lump sum next month. If you need/want to, offer up a sacrifice to help this go better. Honey, I'm willing to drop one of my monthly wings nights to save $50 that I can also put towards this.

5) Trade 
If your hobby is prepping and hers is knitting, trade. Make a deal that you each get to spend x time on your hobby, and once a month spend some time in each others hobby. Yes, you heard me, sit beside her and let her teach you knitting. Show her that you care about her and the things she feels are important. Thats relationships 101! And hey - knitting could be considered a really useful preparedness skill, who knows when you are going to need a new sweater after the SHTF? After you've spent an evening in her hobby, trade, and she spends an evening helping you prep your 72 hour kit. You've now accomplished three things - your relationship is stronger after two date nights, you have a new skill, and your fancy 72 hour kit is ready.

I have talked with many of you who find yourself in this scenario, and no doubt it's difficult. Remember that relationships are a key part of preparedness, its going to be really hard to survive out their lone wolf style should it come to that. Start with the relationships that are the most important, those close to you. Strengthen those bonds, secure those foundations and before you even purchase your first food bucket, you will find yourself 100% stronger and more able to deal with whatever may come.

This post by Dwight from Briden Solutions - Proudly helping Canadians obtain high quality Survival supplies.  

1 comment:

JaneofVirginia said...

This is very true and an excellent post. My husband and I have been married for 25 years. In the earlier years of our marriage, I was interested in preparedness as my parents always put away supplies for Winter, etc. My husband was only interested in buying things that we needed immediately and he considered "buying ahead" foolish and a waste of resources. I tried to talk to him about this, but to no avail. Since I worked full-time when our children were small, I put away things in secret, and I even neglected to tell him of a raise in salary I received, in order to ramp up supplies. Then, some years ago, Hurricane Isabelle closed our rural area and left us without electricity for three weeks. One by one I brought out each emergency item we needed, and rather than being angry, he was impressed. However, the transformation was short lived, and I went back to putting items away in secret. In the past five of six years, he has come around, but a step at a time. He bought a generator, and when our newest home was built, he designed a disaster supply room. This year, he helped us build a structure for reserve animal feed. We still disagree on things like EMP and on medical supplies, but he accepts that perhaps my hobby of preparation is simply taking good care of our family, and being a good back-up to our kids, some of whom have their own homes now. Thanks for the article. It's an important topic, and a stressor.